An odd title to give this blog post, as I’m mainly going to be writing about the experiences I’ve had in life which have royally f*cked me over.
There are lots of factors out of our control in life, from negative experiences during childhood to the weather forecast on a given Tuesday, or a global pandemic which seems to never end. More often than not, it’s the difficult and traumatic life experiences that we want the most control over.
I’ve had my fair share of uncontrollable negative experiences in life, and it’s always with hindsight that I reflect and wish I’d done *something* different to control how the situation panned out. Maybe if I’d have just done X Y Z, then the outcome would have been less impactful.
Then there’s the situations that I just know I had truly no control over, and I’ve had to learn to overcome and adapt in order to continue moving forward. I had utterly no control over my upbringing, no control over where I was born and the situations that other people have put me in.
I’ve spent a lot of time and energy feeling bad and regretful about the bad things that have happened in my life. There are people who I still want answers from, questions as to why I’ve been in situations that I really don’t deserve, and worries as to whether it’s just me who is the problem.
But I feel like the only positive response I can give is to be thankful. Thankful for the mental bank of bad times, which remind me that I can truly get through a lot. Thankful for the people who have broken my trust, as it’s taught me to be careful with who and how I open up. Thankful for the many times I’ve failed, as it’s proven to me that I do have resilience and the ability try again. Thankful for the people who annoy the hell out of me, as it’s a reminder that there are other people on this planet with their own flaws and their own personal issues – they’re not perfect and neither am I.
As I write this post, I can’t say I’m feeling awfully good. But I’m reminding myself of everything I’ve been through and overcome, and reminding myself that this bad feeling is just another bump in the road – to make me thankful for a smoother path ahead.