Understanding and accepting change is always something I have struggled with.
I’m someone who is in the grey area between wanting a comfortable routine, yet also wanting to achieve new goals and experience new things.
Being an extroverted person, I like the idea of being in a stimulating environment, I like to be kept on my toes and I like to think that I’ve always got something new and interesting to aim for.
Whether you’re an extrovert or introvert; being at a stagnant point in your life is never enjoyable. We are goal driven humans, and the vast majority of us need something shiny and interesting to aim for, otherwise we get bored easily.
However, difficulties arise when there’s too much change in your life. Sometimes this isn’t always intentional, and it can be done out of pure positive motivations. Setting yourself multiple goals and completing them all within a short space of time can feel anti-climatic and the outcome of too many changes – whether positive or negative, can lead you to feel out of control and have a loss of identity.
The last year has been very good for me, and I credit this to having a constant routine, with enough small goals and achievements being made along the way.
However within the last few months, I’ve experienced an influx of positive and negative changes, which have caused me to feel a bit confused and unsure where I am in life.
After finishing my first year university work, I have been thrown straight into a completely new and unfamiliar routine. Working irregular hours, living between two different houses, setting myself goals in terms of relationships, money, fitness, lifestyle etc have lead me to feel burned out.
I like to see progress, and I like to see that I am achieving the things that I want to – but sometimes I set myself too much and ultimately end up putting minimal effort into each avenue and feel like a failure for not doing the best in each aspect.
Change is hard, because we want to see ourselves do well. We want to see ourselves achieve and experience the things we desire, yet we aren’t always prepared for how we might feel on the other side.
However, part of being human and part of becoming a better person is to go through the changes and to understand how we react to different feelings. We develop coping mechanisms, some which are helpful and some which are unhelpful.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve dealt with the last through months with the help of coping mechanisms, and it’s taken a lot for me to figure out what is helpful, and what is causing me to feel worse.
I think the important thing to remember is that you need a set of values and principles which you will keep constant throughout your life. You need to set some things which you aren’t going to change, because you know they work positively for you.
For me that’s things such as making sure I’m sleeping enough, eating properly, avoiding anything addictive and ensuring that I am communicating with people close to me.
Writing, exercise and music are also things which I know help with difficult experiences.
Don’t ever beat yourself up for taking a wrong turn, getting stuck in a rut or feeling deflated after a series of big changes. It’s all part of learning about yourself.